We figured you’d be a little down from having to head back to the office after the month of revelry. So instead of piling on the guilt with some stupid New Year New You health issue on how you need to cut down on carbs and do more sit-ups, we’ve decided to celebrate the one thing Bangkok is really good at. (Or at least the one thing we’re really good at and can talk about it in print.) That would be, you guessed it, social media.

As 2013 draws nearer and the festivities intensify, here’s a little year-end quiz to see just how well your booze-addled brain can remember the past 12 months.

1. Why is Pheu Thai pushing for a constitutional reform?
a. To enshrine the right to free cable broadcasts of major football tournaments.
b. To give Thailand’s two favorite politicians, Obama and Suu Kyi, the right to run for Prime Minister here.
c. To make Macau the 78th jangwat of the Kingdom of Siam, thereby saving Thaksin huge fees in long distance Skype calls.

It’s the end of the world as we know it… and we feel fine (possibly because R.E.M. aren’t nearly as big now as when they wrote that song). But if the Mayan Apocalypse really does hit this week, how can we here in Singapore increase our chances of survival?

1) To dodge any oncoming tidal waves the entire population should gather atop the Sands SkyPark at Marina Bay Sands. Ku Dé Ta to get with the program and relax their dresscode until the nuclear winter has passed.

Seventy new items have been added to the Culture Ministry’s list of Thai cultural icons. Newcomers included somtam, pla ra (fermented fish) and buffalo racing. Our lovely culture minister expressed concern that there are more children who know the dance moves to “Gangnam Style” than those who can play mak keb (jackstones). She also said that their registration would provide these cultural treasures with “immunity” against the ravages of foreign culture. As a show of support, BK would like to suggest a few other such treasures in need of protection.

Last week, Arisman Pongruangrong was sentenced to one year in jail, without hope of suspension, for saying that former PM Abhisit Vejjajiva ordered the killing of people. That same week, the DSI charged PM Abhisit Vejjajiva (and Suthep Thaugsuban) for authorizing the killing of people, Red Shirts protesters to be exact, during the 2010 protests in Bangkok.

This week, the little‑known Ministry for the Promotion of Emotion announced some updates to their guidelines, in light of Singapore’s world‑last ranking in a survey measuring which countries are most comfortable displaying  their feelings. Here’s what they had to say.

1) From January 2013, the requirement to give your employer two weeks’ notice of your intention to laugh will be reduced to a mere 13 days.

As the year draws to a close, we’re reminded of our greatest strength as a nation, the impressive ability to very quickly forget absolutely anything—a talent which should come in very handy this December.

Last week’s World Aid’s Day saw a brief spike of interest in safe sex. The sexist remarks against Democrat MP Rangsima Rodrassami saw a brief spike of interest in women’s rights. School closures and the Organization of Islamic Cooperation’s report on our dismal work down South saw a brief spike of interest in our troubled provinces.

The Twitter account @therealboonlert has only six followers so you may have missed it, but the general’s timely tweets provided us with some of the best coverage of last weekend’s rally.
@therealboonlert One million people on their way to overthrow govt. Let’s freeze this country! #pitakparty #awesome
@therealboonlert After we overthrow govt, we will replace it with totally #awesome people with good hearts! #simple #awesome

This weekend, we’re having a censure debate. What is a censure debate, you ask? We have no idea. What we do know is that this could determine whether or not the airport gets crowded with angry aunties come year-end. That is why it is your civic duty to speak to your friends, be they Pitak Siam or the Red Shirts, and explain that they should probably stay home this weekend.

As the days grow shorter, the nights darker and the air ever colder (or not; we’re romanticizing here), our collective thoughts naturally turn to one thing. Depending on your faith, how you celebrate this great tradition may take different forms. Depending on your age, you may have grown to question the meaning behind it all. You and your neighbor may even look to different texts, sacred scrolls or even magazines to guide you through it.