At last. Education in Singapore has finally turned the corner—towards the uncanny.Primary One and Two students who cannot read will be put on a revamped Learning Support Programme or LSP (the closeness of “LSP” to “Lisp” seems to have escaped our acronymizers) to bring them on par with the rest of their cohorts.This is illogical. School begins at Primary One, so we should not expect these students to be already able to read and write.

The Feedback Unit recommends that we should all be issued a “Singapore Politics” guidebook, to be written by an independent think tank. Just to make sure everyone is on the same page here, we present some interpretations of the concept “democracy.”Democracy is the government of the people, by the people, for the people.Abraham LincolnDemocracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.George Bernard Shaw A democrat need not believe that the majority will always reach a wise decision.

Revelers turned out in full force at Orchard Road on New Year’s Eve to usher in 2006—and left in their wake 6,000 kilograms of trash. It would have been more useful if they had instead left behind any of the following.A feathered serpent (Alatuserpens Quetzalcoatlus)A feathered serpent differs from the standard dracoform. It has two sets of limbs (feathered wings and hind legs) on a long (20 meter) sinuous body, with a 20 meter tail. It has a wingspan of 15 meters—and weighs 6,000 kilograms. It has 60 teeth.

It’s that time of year again—when it’s the fashion to make New Year’s resolutions. So we drew up a national list for 2006.Lose weight.Singapore is becoming far too heavy, what with the Circle Line, the Integrated Resort, and miscellaneous skyscrapers all being built. Obesity will only worsen the problem. So let’s all collectively resolve to lose at least 30 percent of our body weight this year. How? There’s only one way: exercise and sweat even more (thus drinking more Newater—a success at last!)Study more.A recent survey showed that most Singaporeans believe the sun goes around the earth.