1. If you’ve hired your wife as your personal assistant, which is totally legal and fine by us (57 of you have done it), make sure you get her to tell herself to buy some flowers for herself.

 

2. When women mention adding gender equality to the charter, show your support by putting your best man on the job to draft the best possible bill.

 

3. Leave a copy of 50 Shades of Grey on your desk. It could start an interesting conversation with your female staff. A playful wink and a little tap on the buttocks will show them that “you get it.”

 

4. Show you’re genuinely crushed about Ticha Na Nakorn resigning: “It was a pretty irrational and sudden decision, but it’s hard for us men to understand what PMS can do to the human mind.”

 

5. Make positive suggestions about areas where women need to play a greater role in politics: “I believe women know best when it comes to children. Or at least infants.”

 

6. Lobby for the creation of new panels where women’s skills can be better utilized, like a Deputy Minister of Fashion, a Secretary of State of Emotions, or even a Health Commissioner of Dieting and Aerobics.

 

7. Be tough on safety. It’s a sick world out there and you’re not going to let psychos get away with preying on defenseless women. Offer helpful tips like staying home after 9pm, or wearing several layers of clothes in public.

 

8. Make sure you kiss your female staff and wish them a very happy Women’s Day. Little things like that can go a long way. Also: chocolates.