Issue Date: 
Dec 12 2013 - 11:00pm
Author: 
Page3
Topics: 
city living
To satisfy anti-government protesters, the National Election Committee for Voters in Good Taste has been working hard to devise a test to select only those educated voters who cannot be bought to be allowed to decide our next parliamentary election.
 
Initially the committee decided everyone should pass a literacy and political awareness test. But preliminary polling in the provinces revealed that due to farmers and blue collar workers still reading Thai Rath as opposed to playing Candy Crush or Line all day, they were scoring higher than their middle-class counterparts on basic reading comprehension.
 
Secondly, asking lower-classes to define basic political concepts like democracy also backfired. Answers from the rural poor, which tend to see democracy as a representative form of government, were in line with academic definitions. Answers within Bangkok were harder to decipher, as they tended to mix heartfelt declarations of patriotism, shrill whistling and rants asking for those who disagree with them to unfriend them on Facebook.
 
Finally, the newly-formed committee came up with a few questions that would truly separate the chaff from the wheat. Want an advance sneak peek? BK got its hands on some of the questions in the upcoming Electoral Proficiency Test:
 
  • Who does the best Sunday brunch in Bangkok?
  • Should men over 30 wear Playhound or Greyhound?
  • How far in advance must one book a table at Chef Man?
  • Which of these trends—industrial chic or Victorian tea room—is over?
  • Is Joseph Boroski a Polish mathematician or a local mixologist?
  • Is kobe a breed or a region?
  • How can one get access to the VIP parking spots at Paragon?
  • Essay (500 words): Compare and contrast the advantages of owning a second home in Khao Yai versus Hua Hin.
 
If you’re clueless about any of these questions, we suggest you refrain from voting, seriously work on building up your income or just study up by reading BK more carefully. Break a leg!

More Page 3.

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