Issue Date: 
Mar 7 2013 - 11:00pm
Author: 
Page3
Topics: 
city living

It’s time for your roundup of entertaining employment news! Whether you’re a CEO, HR Manager or lowly employee here’s what you need to know about the multitude of newly-introduced work passes.

The H Pass. Horses! Ensure you’re properly registered to avoid accidentally ending up in an Ikea meatball.

The F (Off) Pass. Expires after one week, is non-renewable and is issued to anyone that we’d really prefer wasn’t here. Although initially conceived with foreigners in mind, it will now be issued mostly to local residents as part of the Government’s controversial Foreign Workers for the Win! campaign.

The S Pass. Not new this one but the latest rules do at least clarify that the S stands for “So damn ridiculous, how am I supposed to keep track of who’s eligible?”

The KTV Pass. For hot young mainland Chinese girls who like preening in front of their smartphones and take karaoke more seriously than life. Must be sponsored by a seedy old uncle (not necessarily their own).

The One-Two Pass. It’s hoped this one will attract more foreign football players to our shores; or perhaps just lure ex-national coach Raddy Avramovic back from Serbia.

The Midnight Mass Pass. For touring ex-Popes only.